Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
