she looked like the bat from fern gully.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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