Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
