Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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