How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
