So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
