I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
