it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
