I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
