She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
