Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize