Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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