And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
