I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
