i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
