Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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