It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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