I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
That accounts for only three of the penises
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
