I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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