Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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