i need an iv and a liver transplant
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Randomize
