i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
