Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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