I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
