Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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