Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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