Already got asked if we're dating
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
