Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
