and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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