He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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