Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
