Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
