For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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