You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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