You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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