I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
