i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
