this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
