the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
