i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
