Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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