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  It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me

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• "Listen to him, he's pre-med."

  Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on Oct 19, 12 at 7:25pm

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  • animal house reference ftw!!

    Submitted by amanduh14 on Oct 20, 12 at 2:44am

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  • Graduating med school with all "D's" still makes you a Doctor.

    Submitted by WApple on Oct 24, 12 at 4:07am

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• This is how Christianity spread through Europe during the Black Plague. Many pagan religions did not drink alcohol. The monks and the priests did. Hence all the Christian names from old European booze brands.

  Submitted by cfreymarc on Oct 19, 12 at 10:51pm

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  • cuz knowing is half the battle

    Submitted by MzKitty08 on Oct 21, 12 at 2:18am

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    • knowing is half the bottle

      Submitted by jonathan171 on Oct 22, 12 at 2:59am

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      • this is great.

        Submitted by kittycatsmeow on Oct 22, 12 at 2:14pm

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• The crayon diploma is how you know it's legit

  Submitted by Binders_of_Women on Oct 19, 12 at 7:04pm

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• "Trust me" uh how about no? That shit hasn't worked since Aladdin.

  Submitted by GA_Peach on Oct 19, 12 at 3:32pm

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  • she got out of there safely and everyone lived happily ever after

    Submitted by khals on Oct 20, 12 at 1:23am

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    • Exactly, a good ending to "trust me," the only one I know of.

      Submitted by GA_Peach on Oct 20, 12 at 4:31am

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• The last time I listened to someone after they said "trust me" I ended up in the ER with broken ribs.

  Submitted by snowman87 on Oct 19, 12 at 7:02pm

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• O-H!

  Submitted by Bloomfield on Oct 21, 12 at 3:15pm

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• Reading webmd don't make you a doctor

  Submitted by ck24 on Oct 19, 12 at 8:26pm

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  • Nope because it's always cancer on web md lol

    Submitted by GA_Peach on Oct 21, 12 at 5:36am

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    • or lupis

      Submitted by WApple on Oct 24, 12 at 4:06am

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• I want him as a doctor. Telling your patients to drink? Ok, should I keep sexing

  Submitted by SadieandKismet on Oct 19, 12 at 3:37pm

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• I read this in NPH's voice

  Submitted by tlovell on Oct 20, 12 at 11:13am

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• I might trust you if every time I heard someone say that I didn't wind up bent over with a thumb in my ass! I mean I'm going to need to see some identification... -__- pay no attention to that first part.

  Submitted by MzKitty08 on Jan 23, 13 at 4:39am

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