Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
