He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
