i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
