D3 body, D1 cock
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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