I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
