"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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