Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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