Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize