You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
