I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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