I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
