We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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