I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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