We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
