You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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