dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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