I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
