I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
