Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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