I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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