shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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