So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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