I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize