I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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