I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize