Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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