You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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