i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
